At our network partner virtual catch up held on Wednesday 27th April we covered the topic of learning from and effectively managing our epic fails in facilitation. Most of us at some point in our working lives have experienced disappointment when things don't work out the way we wanted. However, the key is to make the time to reflect and learn from the experience.
Below is a summary of the key points discussed by our guest presenter, Nicola Lipscombe.
- Reflective practice needs to be a consistent part of our facilitation practice.
- After experiencing a failure, try to review what happened using a bit of distance. This helps to maintain your self worth.
- 2 main emotions come into play when we experience a failure.
- Shame - which is a painful attack on our identity and prevents us from listening rationally.
- Guilt - which focuses upon the behaviour and creates other feelings such as remorse and empathy for other people impacted by the event. It also helps us to reflect and learn from the event.
- 3 traps to facilitation:
- Perfectionism - our desire to make everything perfect can be countered with the need to perform optimally.
- Comparison - comparing yourself to others can be addressed successfully by only comparing yourself to your past experiences.
- Control - attempting to control every variable can be turned around by focussing on what we can realistically control. Things such as your words, your emotions, the material that is being presented and your preparation are things we can control.
- 2 key strategies we can use to assist us when we are experiencing heightened emotions when things go wrong include.
- Box breathing - a rhythmic breathing technique designed to calm the body and mind. Often used to help manage anxiety and PTSD.
- STOP technique - developed by Jon Kabat-Zim is designed to help regulate your emotions and to prevent rumination.
If you happen to have some spare time, take a listen to Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead series – this episode focuses on failure and creative process – its 53 mins long.